Moonstones
by TotalNerdAndProudOfIt
Summary: Sirius hasn't been returning Remus' letters for a reason. Slash, Remus Lupin x Sirius Black. Marauders Era. Rated M for scenes of a sexual nature, mentions of violence and rude words in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is my first chapter fic - arrgh! i hope you enjoy, **

**Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling (as if the questionable quality of the writing wouldn't give that away anyway) but just to say i don't own the characters or the world, i just like writing about them.**

**Warnings: this is slash (boy-boy romance) so if you aren't into that sort of thing then please just go read something else. its rated M for mentions of violence and for sexual scenes and language in later chapters.**

The cellar was dark and smelled damp. It was freezing cold despite the ragged blankets Sirius had found in a corner. It was times like this he wished he had paid attention when learning about wand-less magic, all he wanted as a little light. Not that he was afraid of the dark, he was a brave Gryffindor after all, but in this house it was only sensible to be afraid of what could be lurking in the dark.

Suddenly the door opened with a squeal and a crack of light streamed across the filthy floor. So maybe a light wouldn't help, Sirius thought as he caught a glimpse of the ominous looking stains there.

"Out" his mother barked. "Now." Her clipped tones dripped danger and Sirius forced his stiff muscles to respond as quickly as possible. Walburga wasn't the sort of woman you kept waiting. Apparently he wasn't quick enough though as he felt a hex land on his forearm leaving a large burn there. Tripping up the steps in his haste Sirius hurried out of his dark and stinking prison, knowing what he was walking towards was quite possibly even worse.

"So Sirius" Mrs Black sneered when he was standing before her in the kitchen, blinking in the sudden brightness, "have you had time down there to realise your mistakes and rethink things?"

"It's not a mistake mother, it's who I am" his voice was horse from not being used for so long. He tried with all his might not to betray the fear that bubbled in the pit of his stomach as he saw her sneer contort and her wand being lifted.

"Maybe you need a little more persuading" she hissed evilly through her teeth as the first curse lifted Sirius off his feet and sent him sprawling painfully into a wall before another paralysed him. Sirius locked his jaw and tried to remain silent as she pulled out a long silver knife. He refused let her hear him scream.

**

Remus was sat stiffly on his bed trying to read what was probably a very interesting book and refusing to look out of the window. Well, he was trying to refuse to look but somehow his eyes still drifted towards the the small tawny owl flying towards him. His heart jolted traitorously. Maybe this time, he couldn't help but hope as he thrust the window open. But no, the handwriting on the letter was, yet again, his own. Sirius had returned another of his letters unopened. Remus couldn't understand. Why would Sirius be ignoring him like this? His last letter, sent a week into the holidays, had been full of warmth and love and then, nothing. Not a word. Just the return of each and every letter, unopened, untouched in fact. Each letter came back pristine the day after it was sent and each time Remus' worry increased. Sirius was never the type to ignore someone, if he wanted them to leave him alone he would just say it. But now, nothing. Not a word in over 3 weeks. At the very least Sirius thought he was owed and explanation. If Sirius had somehow decided his parents were right and he had no business consorting with a half blood werewolf then why didn't he just come out and say it? It would hurt, but anything, anything, had to be better than this silence.

Remus stood, removing the letter and giving his owl a soft pet before sending her downstairs to her cage for food and sleep. Hesitatingly he pulled a shoebox from under his bed and placed the letter with the others. 17 letters from the last 3 weeks, all unopened. Remus knew it was pathetic, maybe even a little stalkerish, but he still couldn't throw these letters away. Because if he did then he would be admitting that it was all over, that Sirius really didn't want Remus in his life anymore, and that was something he wasn't ready to admit yet. No matter how silly it seemed Remus couldn't help but hold on to the hope this was all some horrible misunderstanding and that somehow when they returned to school everything would be how it was before. That somehow, someway, it would all be okay.

The loud crack from the garden caught him completely off guard, causing him to jump and drop the box of letters. As they slid haphazardly across the floor he stood to glance outside and all of a sudden his blood ran cold. He was frozen, as if in a horrible dream, staring at the scene outside his window, and then suddenly he was running, somehow avoiding falling as he nearly flew downstairs and out of the backdoor. Remus skidded to a halt over the broken body that had collapsed on the lawn, leaning down to sweep a lock of hair from his face.

"Siri?" Remus knew it was him and yet he couldn't help but ask. The dirty and bloodied boy in front of him bore almost no resemblance to the grinning young man who had kissed him rather soundly by way of a goodbye behind a pillar at Kings Cross just four short weeks ago. He was painfully thin, his torn clothes hanging loosely off of his filthy limbs. Through the thick stench of unwashed body was a much worse smell, the metallic scent of blood. "Oh god Siri, mum, MUM!" Remus screamed, the obvious distress in his voice causing his mother to rush outside almost as fast as her son had done.

"Remi?" Sirius managed weakly his eyes unfocused as he tried unsuccessfully to lift his head. Trying to comfort him Remus squeezed his hand trying to let him know he was there even as Sirius passed out completely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry its taken me a while to upload but here is chapter 2 - hope you enjoy. (oh and yeh, i still dont own anything)**

Mrs Lupin considered herself an excellent healer. She had had a lot of practice, what with her son's condition. Still, there had been several of Sirius' wounds which had failed to completely heal, due to the dark magic infecting them. In particular there were several long, deliberate slashes across his chest and upper back, clearly put there by a knife infused in the evilest of ways. It was only because of years of healing her sons own cursed wounds she was even able to stem their bleeding , she could do nothing about the deep scars they were sure to leave. But Sirius was at least alive, something she was tremendously grateful for. There had been a point, when she had realised the strength of the dark magic and the depth of some of the wounds, that she had been worried. The boy had lost so much blood and was weak from apparating the distance from his home to the Lupin's in rural Hertfordshire. But he was a fighter, that was for sure, and when her terror had almost taken over she had only to look at her son to know she had to keep working.

Now Sirius slept quietly on the beaten up sofa in their lounge. She had had to give him a powerful sleeping draught to give his body time to heal as she was sure the pain would have kept him awake. She had been wary of using magical painkillers, and in the end had given him only weak ones, for fear the cursed blade might be designed to react badly to them. But although Sirius was effectively knocked out and would be for several hours, Remus hadn't left his side even for a moment. He was clearly distressed by seeing his friend hurt so badly but he refused to leave the room helping his mother where he could; he was also accomplished at healing spells, but moistly just watching in silent vigil over the boy. Even when Mrs Lupin had declared him out of the woods Remus had refused to leave, curling up on the floor beside the sofa instead of in his own bed, his fingers entwined with Sirius' and his head resting on the cushion next to his.

Remus was exhausted. He had hardly slept at all; terrified that if he did something might happen to Sirius and he wouldn't be able to help. He wanted to be the first thing Sirius saw when he woke up, if only because waking up would prove he was okay.

It was still early in the morning and his parents were obviously still asleep next door when felt Sirius stir, his eyelids beginning to flutter open. After a moment his eyes suddenly opened wide and Remus saw they were flooded with pain and fear. Sirius didn't know where he was and was clearly terrified, all the more so as he tried to struggle and found he was so tightly wrapped in blankets that couldn't move his arms or legs properly.

"Siri, Siri, you're ok" Remus bent over to reassure him, trying to loosen the blanket with one hand while stroking his forehead with the other, "You're safe, love. You're with me." Sirius' eyes focused on Remus and he relaxed almost instantly, staring into his amber eyes like they contained the sun. Even though he was still hurting and he didn't quite know where he was or why, he was sure that if Remus told him he was safe it must be true, because how could a boy with such beautiful eyes ever lie to him.

"I'm sorry Remi" Sirius whispered hoarsely.

"Don't be."

"I know I shouldn't have come here, I shouldn't have disturbed your summer, but..." he trailed off at the look in Remus's eyes. He knew without having to hear the words he was welcome here, that Remus wanted him here always. It was that look of kindness and love that finally caused Sirius to break down, allowing himself to feel the full extent of the fear and the pain he had been trying to supress ever since he had returned to Grimmuld Place. He sobbed uncontrollably as Remus gently slid on to the sofa beside him, wrapping him securely in his strong arms. For the first time this summer Sirius felt safe.

"I should tell you what happened" Sirius whispered as he managed to get himself under control.

"Only if you want to, love. There's no hurry."

"No, I do, I want to tell you. And it sort of concerns you too. They know, about us."

Remus was stunned. They had agreed to keep that secret for now, they hadn't even told their best friends, so he couldn't help but be disconcerted that Sirius' family knew. He wanted to ask how but before he could Sirius was speaking again.

"I'm so sorry Remus. I told them, well sort of. They had this pureblood girl they wanted me to marry to keep the bloodline up and I said no and we were arguing about it and then somehow it all came out." Sirius looked up into his loves eyes, expecting to see disappointment, even anger. They had said they wouldn't tell people, not yet, not until they were sure they knew what it was. But instead of the resentment he had feared, Remus was looking down on him with obvious love. That Remus wasn't mad at him meant the world to Sirius.

"It's okay love, it's not your fault. And im glad you stood up for us. But that still doesn't explain how you came to be here like you did. You were really beaten up. What happened Siri?"

"My mother reckoned she could make me change my mind. Beat the gay out of me, so to speak" he laughed mirthlessly. "Used every curse she knew. And when that didn't work she shut me in the basement. I'm not sure for how long exactly, it was too dark to tell time, a few weeks maybe. Every so often she sent Kreatcher with a little food or she'd shoot a curse down to make sure I was still paying attention. And then finally she let me out. I think she thought it had been long enough to make me change my mind but it wasn't Remi. I promise you, it wasn't. It never would be. But she didn't like that and she went at me again, only worse, and she said she was going to put me back down there again. She would have too, but my father stopped her. He said he wouldn't have someone like me in his house, even in the basement, and he said that that was why they had an heir and a spare. So Regulus could take over because I wasn't worthy to be a Black. So they let me go. I grabbed what I could and I just left. I can't go back there Remi. I can't." Sirius dissolved into fresh waves of sobs.

"I know, you won't have to, I promise" Remus tried to comfort him, holding him tighter in his arms and gently rocking the trembling boy. Suddenly he found himself wishing Sirius had been ignoring his letters. That all it had been was a break up. It would have hurt to lose his boyfriend, and probably his friends too, but it couldn't have possibly hurt as much as seeing him like this did. Sirius had always been the strong one, even when things had been really bad at home Remus had never seen him this broken, he could count on the fingers of one hand the number of time she had seen Sirius cry and it had never been like this. The sight of the man he loved to distraction sobbing uncontrollably in fear and pain nearly killed Remus too.

It took three days before Sirius was able to get up out of bed without feeling sick. But, despite the fact that he was still in not inconsiderable pain they were the most enjoyable days of Sirius' summer so far. Waking up to gentle sunlight in Remus' small attic bedroom, with his love lying peacefully next to him made Sirius immeasurably happy. The long lazy days spent talking and laughing and sometimes just being together quietly were everything he had dreamed of while he was locked in the cellar. He was safe and he was warm and he was loved, it was more than he could have even dared to hope for a week ago and now it was real. Mrs Lupin had originally brought up a small camp bed for Remus to sleep on, but it soon became clear that it wasn't going to get used and she took it away after the second night it remained un-slept in. Remus' small double bed might be a bit cramped for them both, but being more than a few feet from one another made both boys anxious. Sirius needed to be able to reach out and touch his boyfriend every now and then, just to reassure himself that this was real, not some wonderful dream which they would soon wake up from, sacred and alone.

As Sirius healed, Remus reluctantly allowed him to read through the box of letters from the last three weeks. He was embarrassed, particularly as the later ones often contained more than a hint of anger at being ignored, but this only made Sirius love them all the more. The anger, to him, showed how much Remus cared, making him feel safer and more loved than he ever had with anyone.

When Sirius was well enough to go out Remus showed him the village where he lived. Walking around the streets or out into the nearby fields for hours at a time, finally gave them the chance to talk about things they had never had time to discuss before. Keeping their relationship a secret had meant they had never really had the time for long meaningful conversations about what this all meant or where it was going. And after the events of the summer Remus felt he had to at least give Sirius the option of changing his mind and returning to his family. No matter what he said, he could tell it was hurting his boyfriend that he could never go home, and in particular that he seemed unlikely to ever speak civilly to his brother again. So, despite the pain that even thinking about it caused him, Remus had to offer Sirius the chance at a more normal life, the life he had always planned on having. Being with him had led to Sirius being seriously hurt, both physically and mentally, and Remus couldn't let him stay with him out of feelings of duty, or worse, pity.

"Remi, I couldn't end this if I tried." His lover reassured him for what felt like the hundredth time "I took the cruciatus curse for us for god's sake! Do you really thing I would do that if I didn't mean what I said last term!" It was the first time either of them had brought up what had been said at the end of the school year, it seemed a lifetime ago now. But every word that had been said was still as true, every feeling just as strong, if not more so.

_They had slipped away after the final breakfast of the year, sliding down empty corridors in search of some privacy. The cupboard they found was cramped and dusty but neither of them could bring themselves to care as they kissed heatedly, trying to store up the feeling for the long weeks of separation ahead. They didn't break apart until they heard crowds of Hufflepuffs running past, clearly going to grab a few last minute things from their dorm before the carriages left for Hogsmead. Realising they had only fifteen minutes to get their own things Remus reached sadly for the door handle, stopping when he felt delicate fingers covering his own._

_"Just, a wait second" Sirius murmured "I got you something. So you don't forget me over the summer." Remus was about to tell Sirius not to be so silly, that he could never forget him, when he felt a cool rounded object falling into his palm. "It's a moonstone Remi, to remind you that there are still good things that come from the night sky" Sirius murmured, suddenly looking nervous he cleared his throat before continuing "and, um, I put a little enchantment on it, give it a squeeze." Remus followed the instruction instantly and was surprised when the stone seemed to whisper quietly in Sirius' voice. 'I love you Moony'. Remus hardly dared believe it had said what he thought it had, desperate to hear it again he tightened his fingers around the stone._

_"I love you Moony" this time it was louder, coming from the boy in front of him as well as the stone in his hand. "I really do"_

_Remus stared at Sirius for a second, before capturing the boy's lips with his own. The kiss was the sweetest and most loving they had ever shared, filled with feelings they had both been storing up for months, even years._

_"I love you too, Siri, and don't you ever forget that" Remus murmured when they came up for breath before leaning forward again into a deeper, more passionate kiss that took both their breath away._

"I love you too Siri" Remus muttered, just as he had all those weeks ago. "And don't you ever forget that."


	3. Chapter 3

**So this is the smut chapter - first time iv written any so please don't be too harsh but constructive criticism is always useful.**

**and great big hugs to TechNomaNcer28 who sent me a lovely lovely review.**

**as always, i'm not J K Rowling, i don't own Harry Potter.**

**...**

"What are you going to tell James tomorrow" Remus asked as he lay in bed two weeks later, idly drawing patterns on Sirius' arm with his fingertips.

"You mean about why they kicked me out?" Remus nodded "I recon I'll just say we had a fight. Maybe I can convince him I chose to leave; I've been talking about it for long enough. I don't want him to worry too much."

Remus turned to look at Sirius, his fingers stilling. He had been somewhat shocked that the boy had come to his place to begin with, rather than James'. He knew Sirius loved him, he never stopped telling him lately, but James was like a brother to Sirius, and it worried him that Sirius wasn't going to tell James anything even remotely like the truth. Logically he knew they weren't quite ready to come out to their friends yet, but it still hurt to think Sirius might be ashamed of him, of them.

"I know we need to tell him about us, but I need to work out how" Sirius continued, as if he had read Remus' mind. "Telling James is much bigger than telling my family. I actually care what he thinks."

Remus couldn't help but be relived at these words. But he had other worries too. "You should to talk to someone about what happened Siri, you can't bottle it up."

"I know love. I've talked to you. And you are the only person I really need to tell, because I love you" he laughed at the look of quiet disbelief that still crossed Remus' face whenever he said that "don't believe me? I love you Remi, I love you, I LOVE YOU!"

"Shush" Remus clamped a hand over his mouth "my parents are downstairs you know. But I love you too, just in case you'd forgotten" he rolled over to kiss Sirius hard on the mouth; something he had discovered was the only sure-fire way to make him shut up.

"Mmmm" Sirius murmured into Remus' lips, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss and wrapping an arm around his waist. Suddenly Remus rolled away, reaching for the nightstand and leaving Sirius feeling confused and rejected.

"Silencing spell" Remus whispered, grinning. "My parents ARE just downstairs you know." Making sure to include the floor as well as the door and walls in the spell Remus rolled back on top of Sirius, kissing him passionately as his hands began to explore the body beneath him. A moan tore from Sirius' throat as a hand slipped up his t-shirt to toy with his nipples, pinching and rolling them between two fingers.

"Right, this needs to come off" Remus muttered, pulling the offending garment up and over Sirius' head and tossing it across the room. His kisses began to venture lower, kissing and nipping down Sirius' throat before allowing his teeth to graze across an already sensitive nipple. Sirius hissed in pleasure as Remus took the pink bud between his lips and began to nip and suck on it gently. At the same time Remus' hands continued their slow journey southwards, trailing gentle fingers lovingly along the fresh scars that now littered Sirius' body. As Remus moved across to lavish attention of the other nipple Sirius' felt his hands fisting involuntarily in the sheets. He was painfully hard and the fact he could feel Remus' arousal against his leg only make him more so, but they had never gotten further than a quick grope before. Remus hadn't much experience and Sirius knew he was nervous about this, he wasn't going to push the other boy into anything he wasn't ready for.

Suddenly Sirius let out a cry of shock and pleasure as Remus' hand slipped into his panama bottoms to gently stroke at his erection though the thin cotton of his briefs. Breath ghosted over his wet, stiff nipples, causing jolts of pleasure to surge through Sirius' system.

"You like that?" Remus' eyes were devilishly dark as his hand rose up a little before plunging back down now inside Sirius' underwear. He moaned louder, hips bucking as Remus touched his hard cock with feather-light fingertips. "How about this?" Remus began to stroke him torturously gently, watching the look on Sirius face with growing excitement, the moans and yelps of pleasure Sirius let out made even more blood flood to Remus' own cock as he slowly kissed down Sirius' stomach. He stopped to dip his tongue into Sirius' navel sensuously before removing his hands and using them instead to pull down the trousers and pants. Remus nearly laughed at the look of loss on Sirius' face, which was instantly replaced by one of bliss when he dipped down to take his length between his lips. Gently he began to play with Sirius, swirling his tongue around the head and sucking hard as he bobbed his head slowly up and down. It was an unfamiliar experience but not unpleasant, and he couldn't help thinking that he wasn't too bad at it, if the noises Sirius was making were any indication.

After a moment Sirius reached down, pulling Remus' head up and into a searing kiss. He could taste something unfamiliar on Remus' lips. Himself, he supposed, and it made him want Remus even more.

"Remi, is this…" Remus nodded. "Oh gods Remi, I want you" Sirius murmured gently reaching out to pull a bottle of lube from the bedside draw and hand it to his lover. Sirius took a breath before spreading his legs slightly, he wanted this, Remus inside of him, but that didn't mean he wasn't bloody terrified.

The sight of Sirius naked and wanting nearly pushed Remus over the edge right then. Liberally coating his fingers he lent down and began to circle his lover's entrance, before ever so slowly pushing a single digit in. Sirius' muscles involuntarily clenched at the intrusion for a moment before he relaxed, allowing Remus to side the finger slowly in and out. Gently another finger was added, and then another, gradually stretching him. The sensation was uncomfortable, but the look of loving concentration on Remus' face as he tried not to cause Sirius' any unnecessary pain made it worthwhile. Without warning a knuckle slid against his prostate and Sirius bucked upwards in ecstasy, moaning profanities under his breath. Remus' eyes widened when he realised what he had done and pushed his fingers against that spot, gently massaging the bundle of nerves and causing Sirius to cry out over and over again.

"Oh god Remi! Please, I'm ready! Please!" Sirius begged, as the exquisite torture became too much. Remus looked down at him, wanting confirmation before continuing. Sirius smiled and nodded up at him, locking eyes with him and letting his lover know that he genuinely meant what he had said.

"Please what" Remus teased once he had made sure Sirius was ready, withdrawing his fingers and adding more lube to slick his own member.

"Fuck me" Sirius groaned brokenly, his voice spurring Remus into action. As gently as he could he began to push into his lover. The tight, slick heat that engulfed him was almost unbearable and he squeezed his eyes shut to stop himself coming there and then, stilling to give them both time to adjust. After a moment he began to gently rock his hips, moving a little deeper with each thrust.

"I won't break Moony." Sirius' voice was horse but he was sure of his words, "move faster". Remus began to pick up the pace then, pushing harder and faster into Sirius, causing them both to moan wantonly. Within minutes both of them were close and Remus reached between them, taking Sirius' cock in his hand and tugging gently. It only took a few strokes before Sirius came, sending hot ribbons of cum across both their stomachs. Remus lent forward to kiss him as he felt Sirius clench around him, his own orgasm ripping through him with more force than he would have thought possible.

Exhausted, they collapsed together on the now rather sticky sheets in sleepy contentment.

"I know I say this a lot, but I love you Moony" Sirius murmured sleepily

"I love you too Siri" Remus replied softly as they drifted together into sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it has been FOREVER since i updated this - things got a bit crazy with uni and everything and then to be honest i totally forgot about it. oops! **

**anyway, enjoy...**

"Heya Jamie" Sirius grinned, using James' least favourite nickname was always fun. The boy turned to glare at him but started a little when he noticed Remus had arrived with his best mate.

"How come you came by the same floo?" James asked suspiciously, suspecting some prank.

"Oh, um, Sirius has been staying with me for, uh, a bit."

"WHAT!"

"Yeh, I left home, massive fight, don't really want to talk about it. Anyway, I've been staying with the Lupins." Sirius smiled up apologetically as he saw the anger and hurt in James' face.

"But why didn't you come to me?" Sirius and Remus glanced at one another. This was the question they had been dreading. The one they didn't know how to answer without suddenly springing their relationship on James. It wasn't that they didn't want to tell him and Peter eventually, although sneaking around last year had been kind of hot, but they weren't entirely sure how they would react, especially if they told them totally out of the blue.

"You only got back from holiday yesterday, duh!" Peter came unexpectedly to their rescue. Remus could have kissed him right then, although he thought maybe that wouldn't go down so well with Sirius.

"Yeh, duh!" Sirius jumped on the bandwagon, "I didn't think apparating to the middle of France and wandering around in circles till I found you sounded particularly appealing. I'd much rather be in a nice soft bed at Remi's." Their eyes locked for a second, as both remembered just how nice that bed could be.

"Oh right" James seemed to relax, his face brightening "you're coming to stay here now though. I mean I'm sure Remus's is lovely and all, but it's way better here! Come on, let's go tell mum and dad" he declared, not thinking for a second Sirius might disagree as he hauled him out of the room in search of his parents.

"He didn't mean anything about your house Remus" Peter murmured consolingly, seeing the look that flashed across Remus' face and misreading it as hurt at his slight on his home, "it's just much bigger here and Sirius can have his own room and stuff."

"Yeh, I know Pete" Remus shrugged pushing away the hurt and anger he felt. It wasn't James' fault he didn't know what they hadn't told him "I guess I'll just miss having Sirius around, it's been…fun." Peter gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder before they trailed after the other two, following the excited babble of James' voice as he told Sirius just how much better staying here would be.

...

It was well past midnight when Sirius snuck into James' room. Stopping for a second to ensure he was asleep he shuffled over to the messy desk as soon as he heard James' distinctive snuffling snores. After a few seconds of rifling through the clutter he found what he was looking for and, hugging it tightly to his chest, almost skipped back to his room down the hall. He glanced down at the glinting surface of the enchanted mirror. This was his lifeline. Remus had the other, so Remus could call after the full moon and let them know he was ok, obviously. That it meant they could speak every day was just a bonus .

"Remus" he whispered, using the seconds it took Remus to answer to set up a silencing spell and lock the door.

"Hey" Remus' sleepy voice muttered as his face came into view "just you Siri?"

"Of course it's just me! Who else would be calling at…" he checked the clock on the bedside table "1:23 in the morning? Unless there's something you need to tell me?"

"Just checking it was ok to tell you just how much I miss you" Remus chuckled quietly.

"I miss you too love. I'm going crazy without you. Do you think we can meet up soon?"

"I only left you there this evening, you know"

"I know, but I missed you the second you flooed away. I love you, remember?"

"Love you too Siri, but I can't come for a bit" Sirius' face fell "it's the full moon on Tuesday remember." Sirius did remember, he wished he could be there, but as Remus' parents didn't know about them being animagus they couldn't work out a way to get them all into the Lupin's cellar, and out again, without blowing their secret.

"I'm sorry I can't be there with you. I wish I could. But we'll come the day after, yeh? We can all visit to cheer you up and make sure you are ok. I won't even jump you if you don't feel good" a sly smile spread across Sirius' face and Remus couldn't help but laugh.

"God I miss you." Sirius felt lust rise in the pit of his stomach at Remus' words,

"I miss you too baby, I keep thinking about last night"

"Oh yeh" Remus flicked an eyebrow in mock seduction. Well it was meant to be mocking but it was definitely working on Sirius.

"Yeh"

"Well then" Remus settled more comfortably on his bed "I think you should let me know exactly what you have been thinking Mr Black. It does concern me after all…"


	5. Chapter 5

The week after Sirius left for the Potters was miserable for Remus. He spoke to his lover every night, but he missed falling asleep next to him and being woken up each morning with a kiss. All the Marauders had come to visit the afternoon after the full-moon, but it hadn't been a good night and he had been too tired to do much. It didn't help that he and Sirius hadn't had even a moment alone what with James and Peter bouncing around trying to be helpful. The thought of waiting another week until school started was killing him. Not being able to see his boyfriend, not having him there to hold him when he woke up after the full moon, hurt more than the cuts and bruises and broken bones ever could.

"Um, Remus dear" his mother shuffled into his room looking strangely awkward "you have a visitor. In the lounge."

At a loss as to who could make his mum act so oddly Remus wandered down the stairs to their small sitting room, stopping short when he came face to face with a decadently dressed woman who could only be Sirius' mother. She had the same high cheekbones and aristocratic nose, but her eyes had none of Sirius' warmth and the disdainful sneer was clearly a permanent feature.

"Remus Lupin?" her voice was cold and clipped. Remus could hear the similarities to the aristocratic accent he loved so much when Sirius accidentally fell into it, but here it sounded harsh and cruel.

"I am here because of my son. He has always been irresponsible and thoughtless, but taking up with someone so obviously inferior as yourself is the final straw." The words held such utter contempt that Remus couldn't help but shrink slightly, even as anger at what she had done to Sirius bubbled within him.

"Not to mention I'm male" Remus muttered just loud enough for the sneering woman to hear him.

"Obviously." Her voice somehow held even more distain than before "it seems my son will cross any boundary, no matter how…disgusting, for his foolish rebellion. Still, I am here to offer you both a way out." She dropped a large bag on the table with a heavy thump.

"What's that?" Remus asked, trying to sound as haunty as Mrs Black but failing miserably.

"Enough gold to tide you and your miserable parents over for years, by the looks of this place."

"And what's it for?" Remus was pretty sure knew the answer, but he couldn't quite believe that this woman thought she could buy Sirius' sexuality. Surely even the centuries of inbreeding hadn't made her that stupid.

"You will take the money and allow my son to return not his rightful place in the most Noble and Ancient House of Black."

"You really think any amount of gold would make me leave Sirius?"

"Oh please. I know your type. You are nothing but a gold-digging little whore attracted to my son's money and name. I can assure you however that this is the best offer you will get. If my son does not return home now he will be cut off, penniless. And then where would you be?"

"With the man I love" Remus' voice was defiant. Who did this woman think she was, trying to buy their happiness away? And after everything she had done. This clearly wasn't the response she had expected. Almost instantly her face slipped from almost indifference to deranged anger. As she raised her wand Remus braced himself. He knew what she was capable of, Sirius was the scared proof of that, but he wouldn't let her see his fear. There was no way he could fight her, he didn't even have his wand on him, but he refused to cower before her.

"How dare you defy me you worthless piece of scum! Cru…"

"Expelliarmus!" Two spells hit the woman simultaneously; pushing her backwards nearly off her feet was her wand flew from her grasp.

"Don't you ever, ever speak to my son like that again" John Lupin's normally calm voice was ragged with anger

"Get your filthy, evil hands away from my boyfriend! How dare you! How dare you threaten Remi! This is why I'm never coming home! Why would I return to a 'family' did this?" Sirius pulled his shirt up revealing the scars her torture had left. "If you ever so much as look at him again I swear I will kill you" his voice had become suddenly soft and dangerous. It was a tone Mrs Black knew well, she used it herself, often to her eldest son. It meant no bluffing. Sirius truly meant what he said. Snatching up her wand from the floor where it had fallen she threw them all a contemptuous look as she stood, preparing to apparate.

"Don't forget that" Remus indicated the sack of gold on the coffee table "as I said, I'm not for sale" she looked like she was going to curse him again for a second, but then she turned to glare menacingly at Sirius.

"Don't you even think of coming crawling back to us when this little slut gets bored of you. You have made your choice and now you must live with it. You are no longer my son and you are no longer a Black" she hissed wickedly before disappearing, the gold clutched tightly in her hand.

Remus turned to Sirius who had a disbelieving look in his eyes.

"Siri, are you ok" he asked tentatively.

"Are you kidding? I'm free!" He sounded elated, before suddenly turning worried eyes to Remus "but are you ok Remi? She was going to curse you."

"I love you Sirius Black" he whispered simply, reaching for Sirius's hand to pull him into a furious kiss.

A small cough broke into their bubble and they were both mildly surprised to realise Remus' father was still standing there smiling when they turned around.

"Dad, um…"

"I'm proud of you Remus, that was a very brave thing you did," he sounded a little choked "and you Sirius. And I'm glad you make my son so happy." Both boys stared at the man

"You don't mind?" Sirius sounded a little dumbstruck. How could Remus' family be so understanding, so different from his own?

"Sirius lad. You don't honestly think this is a huge surprise for us? The two of you weren't exactly subtle while you were staying here you know. And Remus' moping for the last week was even less so. Like I said, both me and Remus' mother want to see him happy, and you make him happy, so that's all there really is to it." Huge grins spread across both boys faces.

"Thanks dad" Remus hugged his father

"Now I'm going to go have a cup of tea with your mother, join us in a few minutes, yeh?"

Once they were alone again the boys fell back into one another's arms.

"Love you Remi" Sirius managed to gasp between kisses.

"I love you too Siri."


	6. Chapter 6

The Hogwarts express had always been a rather long and boring journey. But today it was torture. Being sat across from Remus, having not seen him in a week, and still being unable to touch him was Sirius' own personal circle of hell. All he could think of was how much he wanted him, even just being able to hold his hand would have helped but instead he had to pretend to care about Prong's ridiculous plan to win over Lilly Evans. Again.

He tried to shut his eyes, to erase the image of Remus sitting there, all soft lips and sparking eyes and beautiful long fingers. It didn't help. Now he had fantasy Remus. And fantasy Remus wasn't confined to the train carriage filled with their friends. No, fantasy Remus could frolic wherever he damn well wished, and right now he was frolicking towards the four poster bed in their dormitory, stripping off his soft green jumper as he went. Fingers beckoning Sirius towards him.

Sirius snapped his eyes open. It really wouldn't do to be continuing that particular fantasy on the train, he was sure to embarrass himself.

"So, who's up for exploding snap?" Sirius broke into James' monologue. Maybe that could get his mind off fantasy Remus, and real Remus for that matter, who was more than capable of exciting a rather too enthusiastic response from Sirius' body all on his own.

…

"I wanted to jump you on the train today" Sirius whispered, gently nipping on his lovers ear. They were finally hidden behind the hangings of his four poster bed, wrapped in the protective bubble of silencing and privacy charms. "To be honest, I very nearly did when you started to change into your robes" Remus murmured in assent, pulling Sirius forward for a hard kiss.

"We should tell the others this year" Remus mumbled into his lover's lips "we said we wouldn't tell until we were sure what this was, but we know now, so we should tell them." Remus slid a finger under Padfoot's shirt "plus, it's getting too damn hard to keep my hands off you in public."

"Horny little werewolf" Sirius teased, stroking his fingers down Remus' side sensually. "But you're right, we will tell them. Soon." Leaning forward he captured Remus' lips in a delicate kiss that quickly turned heated. "Just not tonight, tonight I have to make up for all the nights I had to be away from you."


	7. Chapter 7

It took nearly a week, but eventually, inevitably, they ran into Regulus. Quite literally, actually. James had been chasing Sirius who had stolen the first draft of a note to Lilly and planned on reading it to her at breakfast. As Sirius' shoulder bumped his brother he turned to quickly apologise before stopping dead, the note in his hand forgotten as the two locked eyes.

"Urgh, don't touch me you pervert" Regulus sneered, clearly fishing for a reaction. James and Remus hurried forwards ready to hold Sirius back if they needed to, but it was unnecessary. Quite uncharacteristically Sirius remained silent, turning back towards the door to the hall. Remus made to follow, feeling suddenly very proud of Sirius' reaction.

"And keep your little tart away from me too. I wouldn't want to catch anything" Regulus spat viciously when Remus passed him. The boy blushed but kept on walking, trying with is eyes to silently encourage Sirius, who had spun back around at the words, to do the same.

"Bugger off Reggie" Sirius whispered darkly. "You have just as many secrets that I could spill, I wonder if mummy would still love you so much if she knew what you did last summer."

"She'll never believe you. Not anymore. You're just a lying little poof" Regulus hissed venomously.

All four of them suddenly surged forward. Just in time Remus grabbed Sirius by the arm, murmuring comforting words in his ear. Unfortunately, he was distracted with his lover and managed to miss James pulling is wand out to point at the Slitherin's throat, his face a mask of barely controlled anger, so terrifying that Peter physically shrank away from him.

"If you dare ever try to spread stupid lies about my friends again I swear you will regret ever being born" he hissed dangerously "you're the disgusting one, Death Eater. Now fuck off!"

James lowered his wand slightly and Regulus hurried off, rubbing the hollow of his throat where the wand had been pressed he skirted around the four of them and still shooting dirty looks towards his brother and Remus. They weren't paying any attention however as they both were staring at James in shock and disbelief, their arms still intertwined.

The four of them stood in silence for a moment, all unsure of what to say now.

"So…" Peter started finally, when hunger overrode his discomfort at being the one to break the silence, "we should grab breakfast now or we won't get to Care of Magical Creatures in time, it's a fair walk to that side of the grounds." At his words it was as if the trance they had all fallen into broke and the four of them turned almost as one to troop into the Great Hall.

"Oh and Sirius" James added, trying to disperse the tension that still hung thick in the air "you might not want to walk in there with Remus hanging off your arm like that. People might start believing your idiot brother when he says you're a poofter!" James chuckled as Remus dropped Sirius like he had been burnt. Clearly, thought James, they had no idea how intimate that had looked.

…

"Shit" Sirius whispered as he and Remus huddled around their niffler, careful to keep a distance apart from the rest of the class "James is a homophobe." They had both been nervous about telling their friends yes, but deep down Sirius had believed his best friend would want him to be happy, regardless of who he was with. His violent reaction to Regulus' taunting however suggested it could be a very different story. Clearly he found even the idea that Sirius might be gay disgusting and highly insulting to both of them. Shit.

Remus didn't reply, continuing to stare sadly at the niffler who was now sniffing around the base of an old tree stump. Something was clearly very wrong if Remus had gone quiet on him, the boy might not appear shy but he was much more chatty with his friends and when he was with Sirius he was sometimes difficult to shut up. Although Sirius had recently found a few very interesting ways to make him loose what he was about to say.

"What is it Remi?" Sirius murmured, letting his hand stroke subtly against Remus'. "Come on, tell me, I know when something's bothering you."

"I just" Remus took a deep breath and Sirius noticed the tears filling those beautiful amber eyes. "It's going to hurt like hell losing you, ok." Remus blurted out, turning his back to the rest of the class to wipe away the tears which threatened to spill down his pale cheeks.

"What?" Sirius was shocked, why would Remus loose him? He wasn't going anywhere.

"look, I know how close you and James are, and how much his opinion means to you. I can't blame you really. If that's what we can expect from our friends, imagine how everyone else will react. I get it Sirius, if I was you I probably wouldn't want to continue dating the gay werewolf either."

"What the hell are you talking about Moony?" Sirius swung his friend around to face him, lifting his chin gently with one finger. "I love you! For fucks sake Remi, if my mother's curses couldn't change that do you really think Prongs being a stupid homophobic knob will!" Gently he guided one of Remus' hands to his stomach, pressing it down just enough that the other boy could feel slightly raised scars through his thin school shirt. "I love you Remus. I will do anything for you. And don't you ever forget it, ok?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Tie, tie, if I were a tie where would I hide?" James muttered as he pottered around the dorm distractedly. Damn Peter and his inability to put the right things in his potions. Admittedly losing a tie was better than losing his eyebrows like his mate had. Still, if he didn't find his spare soon he'd be late for transfiguration and have to face the wrath of McGonagall. James gave an involuntary shudder, that woman scared him. Thank god for dorm mates to pilfer these things off James thought as he glanced around the room trying to decide where he would be most likely to find what he needed. Sirius' tie was even less likely to appear than his own and Pete's was probably covered in icing or gravy or some such, so that left Moony. Wonderful irritatingly organised Moony.

James hurried towards the strange tidiness that surrounded the fourth marauders bed, even if Sirius' mess was slowly creeping in from the neighbouring bed. Still it was strange, how was he meant to find anything when it was so insanely organised. Ok, think like Moony. So it's not going to be chucked in his trunk or draped over the end of his bed. No, it was probably neatly folded somewhere.

James' eyes fell on the bedside draws. Pulling open the top draw he instantly spotted the corner of what he was searching for poking out from underneath a few books. Yay for neat, tidy, predictable Moony! Grabbing the end James gave it a sharp tug and was shocked when something tumbled out with it, clattering to the ground. Damn! He couldn't just leave whatever it was, it was just a little close to the full moon to risk irritating Moony too much. Draping the tie around his neck so he wouldn't lose it got onto his hands and knees to search, almost instantly spotting the gleaming stone which had rolled just slightly under the bed. 'Weird werewolf' James couldn't help but thinking. What self-respecting bloke keeps a sparkly stone wrapped up in their spare tie? And he'd thought Moony was the sensible marauder! James grabbed the stone firmly before leaping backwards, hitting his head rather painfully on the bedframe. He could have sworn he just heard Sirius say… no that was stupid, Sirius wasn't even here! James quickly checked over his shoulder but the room was definitely empty. Rubbing his sore head and carefully minding the bed this time James leant back down and grasped the stone out from under the bed.

"I love you Moony" the voice was little more than a whisper but the words were undeniable. It was definitely Sirius' voice too and it seemed to be coming from his own hand. Gingerly James unclasped his fingers staring at the rock nestled there. This had to be a joke right? But then how would they have known James would even find the stone. They would have had to of known Peter's bloody potion would singe James' tie. And that his other one was missing. And that he would find Remus'. That seemed an awful lot of set up for such a strange prank.

Ever so gently he closed his fingers again and the voice rang out. Soft and clear and oh so earnest. This was real. This, whatever this is, wasn't meant for James, it was for Remus, and it had been wrapped in the tie to keep it safe and secret and oh so special. Because it mattered. Because it was really, really real.

Resigning himself to detention with Minerva the Terrifying, James settled himself against the bedframe and began to think back over recent weeks and months. Sirius and Remus had both been different this year. They were both uncharacteristically happy. Sirius' brooding had almost disappeared, something he had put down to him finally leaving home, but what if it was because of something else? And the two of them seemed to have grown much closer too; it was Remus who Sirius told his secrets to now. It was Remus he had run to when he left home. What if this wasn't because been away, but because that was where Sirius really wanted to go? What if what the stone said was true and Sirius really did _love_ Remus.

What the hell!?

Could that be why they both seemed so content now? Could that be why Sirius left home? To be with Remus? Like really _with_ him.

Ok. What DO I know, James tried to think logically. His friends were both much happier this year. And they had both changed too, not just in the big things but in the little ones too. Sirius seemed a little more grown up, and he was somehow shyer too. He didn't strip off willy-nilly like he used to, instead choosing to change in the bathroom. Perhaps Remus was the jealous type. That didn't sound like Remus, but then he had never seen Remus _with_ anyone so he couldn't be sure. Maybe Sirius wasn't sure either and didn't want to risk upsetting his boyfriend. Assuming he was his boyfriend of course, James thought. What he had didn't prove anything; it was suspicious, sure, but nothing conclusive. Except the stone. Because if the stone wasn't a prank, and it seemed less likely that it was the more James thought about it, then it proved there was something serious going on between his two very male best friends.


	9. Chapter 9

Over the past week James had been watching his two friends a little more closely. He wasn't spying. Well maybe a little bit, but he was doing it for their own good, so that was ok. Of course he could have just come out and asked them what was going on but he wanted to be pretty sure he knew the answer first. If he was wrong… well, that just wasn't a conversation he wanted to have. But the more he watched the more he became convinced he was right. It was little things really. An 'accidental' bush of fingertips, a look that lasted a fraction too long. And then there was the fact that James couldn't remember the last time he had fallen asleep to Sirius' light snores. Clearly he was sitting awake until they all fell asleep so he could go to Remus.

James couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it before really. They were so bloody obvious once you knew what you were looking for. He was also thoroughly irritated that he had to find out by watching, ok spying, like this. Why hadn't they told him? Sirius was meant to be his best friend, his brother, and whatever this was it was clearly important, so why hadn't he told James about it. James had never kept a big secret from his friends, but clearly they didn't trust him quite as much as he had thought they did.

A week after finding the moonstone James finally plucked up the courage to confront his friends. The more he thought about this the more irritated he became that they hadn't told him and he couldn't stand it anymore. Every time Remus said he was going to the Library or Sirius disappeared on some mad errand he was wondering if they had lied and snuck off together. It was driving him mad! He waited until Thursday evening. All three of them had a free period while Peter had extra tutoring for transfiguration. James might be annoyed at them for not telling him, but he wasn't about to out them to Peter, or anyone else for that matter.

He was distracted all the way through Divination, and he jumped up so quickly when the bell rang he knocked the table over, sending their crystal ball spinning madly across the classroom. Yelling hurried apologies and goodbyes to Peter, James darted out of the classroom and down the spiral staircase. With any luck, James thought, he would have a few moments to work out what he was going to say before the other two made it up from the herbology greenhouses. James was thankful it was getting chilly as it meant he could be fairly sure they would come up rather than hanging around outside.

What James hadn't counted on was Peeves. He was so distracted trying to think how to start this conversation that he didn't notice the poltergeist zooming towards him until it was too late to escape.

"Ooh! There are no classes down this way. Is little Jamie Potter skipping classes! Peevesee should tell someone" he cackled, grabbing the swords from several nearby suits of armour and using them to block James' exit. "Can't have you setting a bad example now can we!"

"Peeves! I'm not skiving. I have a free period. Now get out of my way, I'm in a hurry." The second James said it he realised it was a mistake. If there was one thing Peeves loved it was making people late for something. The more important, the better. Damn!

"Where are the others" Remus laughed as he and Sirius almost ran up the staircase and into the dorm, linking their fingers together as they went.

"Classes" Sirius declared happily, pointing around the empty dorm room before landing a sound kiss on Remus' lips.

"Mmmnm" Remus breathed, his hands already tangling in Sirius' soft locks "James has a free too though"

"Ah yes, good sir moony, but so doth the fair maiden Evans, so he'll be too busy trying to get into her knickers to disturb us" Remus couldn't help laughing at the pompous voice his boyfriend put on. It sounded ridiculous, although he knew a lot of it was just what had been drilled into his lover in election lessons as a child. God he wished Sirius would use the toned down version more often though, it really was damn sexy when he wasn't trying to sound like Sir Cadogan.

"Well if you're sure about that, maybe you should follow his excellent example and try to get into mine" Remus grinned naughtily, running fingertips down Sirius' spine as he did so. Never one to ignore a request so elegantly put Sirius launched them both towards the nearest bed, nearly sending them both tumbling to the floor and making Remus laugh again.

"Oi! It's not nice to laugh at my lack of coordination you know!" Sirius pouted, kissing Remus to hold back his own mirth.

It had taken James more than 10 minutes to get rid of Peeves, shooting a bunch of spells to stun the swords and then firing hexes at the poltergeist. He might be dead, but, as the marauders had discovered back in 3rd year, there were a select few spells that still worked on Peeves. Thank God. This knowledge had come in useful on many occasions, although it did require catching the beast with the full force of the spell. He was a slippery git.

Damn, James thought again checking his watch. Remus and Sirius would definitely be there already, and if he didn't hurry up they would have left again. Still, James tried to look on the bright side; it might seem less of an ambush if they were there first. Taking a few deep breaths James started up the staircase to their dorm still trying to decide how to broach the topic.

Taking a final deep breath James pushed open the door and froze at what he saw. Clearly Remus and Sirius had forgotten he had this free too. The two of them were on Sirius's bed, kissing as if their lives depended on it. And they hadn't even bothered to lock the door! Remus was losing his reputation for being the sensible marauder more and more every day. Clearly this was not the time to have this conversation, James decided when Remus, sweet innocent Moony, began to slip Sirius' shirt off his shoulders.

James was just turning to leave when he saw something that made him stop short, knocking into the doorframe and startling the two boys on the bed out of their own world. James' mouth dropped open. The few angry looking scars that had shocked him on Sirius' back became many more on his chest, criss-crossing the pale skin. Without a word James turned and ran down the stairs.

Suddenly the small bubble of anger at not being told about Sirius and Moony was replaced by a much larger one. How dare Sirius not tell him he had gotten hurt! And seriously by the looks of things. Clearly Moony knew so why hadn't he told James? He was his best friend and now it seemed Sirius wouldn't even tell him if he was attacked.

He needed to be alone to think this through. Without thinking about it his feet directed him towards the lake. It was cold outside and he didn't have his cloak with him but it was always where he went when he needed to think.

Sirius had clearly gotten hurt so badly that magic couldn't completely heal it, and he hadn't even bothered to tell him! Well, that explained Sirius' new found modesty. It had nothing to do with Moony being jealous, he had been hiding his body, his scars. James could understand maybe he didn't want everyone to see them, but why was he hiding them from the marauders? They were meant to tell one another everything but now it seemed Sirius wasn't telling him anything at all.

And why did he even have scars, Sirius was a great wizard, and he and Remus were both fantastic with healing spells, having healed Remus, and occasionally the others after many bad moons. But magical healing didn't leave scars. They only happened if the wound was infected with some kind of dark magic. That's why the worst of Remus' full moon injuries sometimes scared. But Sirius hadn't been alone with Remus on the full moon in months. The last time must have been the night before the quidditch final last year and James vividly remembered Sirius stripping off at the victory party after one too many firewhiskeys. So it couldn't be that. And anyway Sirius' scars weren't like Remus'. They were too straight, too neat, to be from the full moon. They looked deliberate, like they had been done with a knife. Except knife wounds could be healed.

James sat down heavily on the lake shore rubbing his hands together for warmth. As he did so his fingers ran over a small nick on his left palm and a memory hit him like a ton of bricks.

_It had been the summer after 2__nd__ year and the only time he had ever been inside Sirius' house. They had been searching the library for anything that might help with their quest to become amimangi. They had only been there a few moments when James had noticed a beautifully ornate silver knife on a small carved table. Intrigued by the intricate design James had picked it up only to be nearly tackled by Sirius trying to wrench it from his hand. Thinking it a game James had tried to tug it back, not understanding when Sirius said it was his mother's what he meant was that it was dangerous. Somehow in the struggle both of them had cut themselves. They were only small wounds but they had bled horribly and even with James' mum's excellent healing skills they both still had scars all these years later. _

James felt sick. Somebody had cut Sirius with that knife, and not by accident. That must have been why he left home, why he wouldn't talk about the fight with his parents. Except clearly he would talk. Just not to James. Sirius wasn't hiding the scars from Remus. He had told Remus. Shown Remus. Probably gone to Remus when they were still fresh and bleeding and asked him to heal them. James could feel anger bubbling inside of him. Sirius was meant to be his best friend and no matter what was going on with him and Remus he should have told him! This was a big deal! Sirius had been attacked, by his own family no less, and he hadn't even bothered to tell him! Fine! If Sirius didn't need him he sure as hell didn't need Sirius! Or Remus for that matter. If they didn't trust him with something like this what was the point in even being friends!

"James" Remus' tentative voice cut into his thoughts "are you… um, can we come over." Without thinking about it James leapt to his feet, almost snarling at the boy who had stolen his best friend.

"No you bloody well can't" he snapped, surprising even himself with the hostility in his tone "I don't want you anywhere near me. You were meant to be my best friends!" James almost shouted as he ran back towards the castle, fighting to hold back the tears stinging his eyes. He wouldn't cry. He couldn't. They didn't deserve his tears the lying gits. They had kept this from him on purpose. This wasn't like their relationship; if they wanted to hide that then fine, that was their own bloody business. But that Sirius, his best friend, his brother, hadn't told him when he had been so badly attacked was too much for James to handle.


	10. Chapter 10

James was refusing to even look at him or Sirius, something that was making potions rather difficult Remus thought. Why did Slughorn have to decide today was the day to mix up the pairings! Now he was stuck with a sulking idiot who wouldn't even acknowledge his presence and a potion there was no way he could make on his own.

This silence wasn't like James. After his reaction to Regulus' taunts they had expected him to be angry, maybe even cruel, when he found out. But not silent. James had never given anyone the silent treatment in his life; he liked the sound of his own voice too much! Even Sir Peter of Obliviousness had noticed something was wrong, although he had stopped asking what after being told less than politely that it was nothing and he should stop asking if he wanted to keep all of his extremities attached to his body.

"James" Remus tried cautiously, he really was stuck on the potion, it was a muddy brownish green colour rather than the clean 'forest green' the book had promised it should be at this point. James ignored him pointedly but glanced into the potion. He smirked when he saw just how far off it was what it was meant to be, grabbing the stirring stick without even acknowledging Remus' presence and setting to fixing the potion.

Well, thought Remus, settling down to another miserable hour in silence, at least he cares enough to stop me blowing the whole classroom up.

"POTTER!" Lilly Evans stormed into the Great Hall on Monday evening with a look on her face that James hadn't seen since 3rd year. And that time he had tried to fly into her dormitory window when he thought it was empty. She stormed towards him, other students scuttling out of her way in terror, as James desperately tried to think what he had done and quickly decided whatever it was, he would rather she yelled at him a little less public than the Great Hall. Getting to his feet just as she reached him he was about to say this when she grabbed him unceremoniously by his shirt collar and dragged him forcibly back outside and into a deserted corridor near the charms classrooms.

"You bastard!" she spat, fixing him with a look that could melt an hippogriff "you utter bastard! I can't believe you! You pretend to be so much better than everyone, but your no better than the death eaters!"

"WHAT!" James had no idea what she was on about but he was sure he had never in his life done anything awful enough to deserve that accusation. And had Lilly actually sworn! She never swore! Never!

"I've just spent the last hour with Remus trying, and failing, not the cry all over me because you are an ignorant little homophobe who has been treating him and Sirius like lepers!"

"What!" James repeated, still trying to take in what she had said. Remus had been crying. Because of him. Remus never cried, no matter what, Remus never cried. Sure he was mad, they lied to him about something huge. But if Remus was crying he had clearly gone too far. And what had she called him? "Wait!" suddenly the penny dropped "they think I'm mad because they're together!" Lilly just kept on glaring "I couldn't give a hippogriffs left arse cheek about that!"

"Oh really! Doesn't seem like that Potter. You walk in on them and suddenly you won't even look at them."

"It's not that" James' voice was almost pleading, he had to make Lilly understand "they lied. And not just about that. About… other… stuff. Big stuff!" He couldn't quite believe they thought he was this mad at them because they were together. Did they really think he was that stupid, that prejudiced?

"Oh like why Sirius had to leave home!" Lilly's still harsh voice cut into his thoughts. Wait, what would she know about that? Sure she and Remus were close, but nowhere near as close as he and Sirius. How the fuck did she know things he didn't. "Surprised I know?" she scoffed, clearly reading his expression correctly. "They told me because I cared enough to ask! I found them in much the same position you did a few weeks ago, but instead of acting like a petulant little child and running away I actually talked to them!"

James stiffened. Coming from Lilly his reaction did sound pretty stupid. He hadn't spoken to them, hadn't given them the opportunity to explain what had happened or why Sirius was covered in scars. He had never asked for the reason they hadn't told him, he just got mad. God he was an ass! He had to make this right.

"Sorry Lilly" James called, already dashing away from her down the corridor "you can yell at me all you want later but I have to find Remus and Sirius right now."

Lilly couldn't help a smile gracing her face as she watched him rush off, nearly falling up the stairs in his hurry. James could be a stupid, insensitive git sometimes, but deep down he was one of the good guys. He just sometimes needed a little shove to get him past that humongous ego of his.


	11. Chapter 11

"Remus! Sirius!" James burst panting into the common room. It was a long way to run from the first floor. "I need to speak to you." The two boys looked surprised and just a little worried, but then, James thought, I've been a stupid prat and ignored them for the last four days so they kind of have a reason to be worried about what I might say now. "Upstairs?" he asked, trying to show he came in peace while still attempting to regain his breath. The two boys shared a quick glance before heading towards the staircase to their dorm. James noticed that Sirius was keeping his body firmly between Remus' and his own, clearly trying to shield him just in case. The thought made him want to cry, how had he made his friends this afraid of what he might do?

Reaching the dormitory James shut the door behind them and cast a quick silencing charm on the door. Almost instantly Sirius and Remus' hands travelled to their pockets, gripping their wands defensively. Sirius stepped forward slightly, shielding his boyfriend more fully. He didn't know what James might do but he wouldn't let him do anything to hurt his Remi. Remus gently stepped forward too, while he appreciated what Sirius was trying to do if it came to a fight he wasn't going to take a back seat, this was about him too. Remus reached his hand out, gently taking Sirius' and winding their fingers together. Both boys were ready to hex James if he so much as looked like he might hurt the other.

"Sorry" James apologised, realising his actions had made them more, not less, uncomfortable "I just thought you might want to talk in private, but I can take it down" he turned to remove the silencing spell but stopped when he noticed a slight incline of Sirius' head. No matter what was going on between them right now he could still read his best friend like nobody else could and he knew that that meant he was right. They weren't ready to go public yet.

"What do you want Jamie" Remus burst out, clearly wanting this over with "do you want to yell at us? Tell us we are disgusting and wrong? Go ahead, I've heard it enough times in my life anyway. And just this once I'm sure you're wrong, so have at it." His voice was cold, making James shudder. For once he knew it wasn't true. Did that mean he thought those bastards who had said things like that because he was a werewolf were right? The thought broke his heart and he could tell Sirius felt the same, he had moved closer to his lover, dropping his hand to slide it around Remus' back and rub comforting circles there. But his eyes never left James, daring him to say anything like that to Remus. Ever.

"No! That's not what I was going to say at all! I swear!" James pleaded

"Then what?" Sirius spat "just want remind us to keep away so you don't, how did my delightful brother put it, 'catch something'"

"No! God no! I don't care that you're gay! I'm happy for you" they were both shocked by James' words. They had been prepared for him to scream or rant or even throw hexes, but not this. How dare James deny what he had made oh so clear over the past few days? James could see the confusion melting into anger in Sirius' eyes and realised he would have to explain better. "You lied to me" he nearly whispered. It sounded so childish when he put it like that.

"What!" Sirius nearly roared "you treated us like we had the plague, you made my Remi cry, because we didn't tell you all our secrets! You selfish git! We have the right to tell people when and what we want!" Sirius was still hovering on the border between anger and confusion. On the one hand James had made Remi cry and he had to be punished for that, but on the other he had a feeling there was more to this than James had said. He loosened his grip on his wand just slightly. He was pretty sure James wasn't going to attack them now, and if Sirius was going to hit him it would be with a fist, not a spell.

"It's not just that" James continued, deciding that now he had started he was going have to explain everything, no matter how stupid he was going to sound. "I mean that you didn't tell me stung a bit. But… the scars." He knew his voice had gotten small but he had to get this out "you should have told me you were attacked Sirius, you're meant to be my brother." Comprehension dawned on Remus' face, followed by Sirius a few moments later.

"You saw them when you walked in on us?" James nodded. "You could have just asked about them" Remus pointed out. James nodded again, now that Lilly and Remus had pointed that out it seemed so obvious but somehow before it had never even seemed an option.

"I've been a stupid prick haven't I?" it was Remus' turn to nod silently

"Honestly mate you have" Sirius began, seeming unsure of what he said "but I probably should have told you about that stuff. Are you sure you are ok with me and Remi being together?" James nodded, smiling now.

"Well then" Remus cut in, finishing what Sirius had begun saying (if they were going to become one of those couples James was going to have to have a word) "maybe we should talk this through properly."

"Come sit, it's kind of a long story and I doubt you'll be happy with the short version, nosy bugger" Sirius indicated Remus' bed. They _were_ becoming one of those couples James thought.

The two boys curled up together against the headboard, fitting together as if they were made for one another. Remus was sat behind Sirius, holding him supportively and James could see their fingers tightly intertwined on Sirius' stomach. They looked nervous, especially Sirius.

"You only have to tell me as much as you want to" James began, suddenly realising that this probably wasn't something that was easy for Sirius to talk about.

"No. You were right I guess. You were a knob about it but I should have told you this stuff. Its just…" Sirius paused and Remus nuzzled gently into his shoulder, the action seemed to give him the courage to keep talking, although his voice remained softer than normal. "So I guess I should start at the beginning…"


	12. Chapter 12

Remus was happier than he had ever been. So happy he couldn't believe it. Now he had gotten over not being told at first James had been incredibly supportive, almost as good as Lilly (although he did complain they were becoming one of _THOSE_ couples, which was clearly not true. Ok so they might occasionally know what the other was thinking and they could have a complete conversation without using words, but they weren't like Frank and Alice or anything. Well, not most of the time anyway.) They were still trying to work out how to tell Peter, it seemed wrong to keep him in the dark now James knew, and he might have a heart attack if he found out like James and Lilly had. Still, they were both a bit nervous. They didn't know how he might react and there was no Lilly in his life to talk him around if he didn't take it well. But even the nerves about this couldn't spoil Remus' happiness.

"Hey babe" a voice whispering in his ear interrupted Remus' thoughts "wanna go find a quiet alcove where you can kiss me senseless?" Remus turned, trying not to let his face show just how much he wanted to do just that. Lilly smirked at the two of them, clearly having worked out what Sirius was asking even if she couldn't possibly hear them from across the table. Almost in sync she and James waved the two of them away, trying, and failing, to stifle their sniggers. Barely pausing to shove his things into his bag Remus grabbed Sirius' hand and dragged him for the library, heading for their favourite broom cupboard (or at least the one nearest the library, Sirius had said he thought they should kiss in every cupboard in Hogwarts, just so none of them felt left out.) Practically falling through the door Sirius pushed Remus against some shelving, peppering kisses down his lover's throat.

"I love you Moonstones" Sirius whispered, nipping a particularly sensitive spot on Remus' neck before moving into his collarbone.

"I love you too Siri" Remus breathed heavily "forever."

**Ok so that was my (admittedly very sappy) ending. thanks for reading, i hope you enjoyed it**


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